Hey everyone, thanks for tuning back in. Some things have come to mind that I wanted to write down. Thinking about early teenage behaviour and how the cliches of teenagers could cover up some signs of...perhaps Autism, ADHD, anxiety, depression, and I guess a whole heap of other conditions too. So by that I mean when people say, (we all know these)!, "typical teenager - lazy, not listening, think they know it all, off in their own world". You know, it is not a suprise to anyone how teenagers are because parents talk about it all the time, and everyone I have ever spoken to has had the same experience. It is almost like a 'club' mentality feeling " oh yeah ", "your're the parents of a teenager" - enough said !! Well, herein lies the problem! As this is of course all true, how do you weed out the typical teenage behaviour we all know and love, and in the depths of that, find out there could be a developmental problem, or some type of issue, maybe relating to bullying, depression etc. Well, I know it is very difficult, and teenagers are gold medal champs at hiding everything! So the events I experienced, which a) could be 'teenage' behaviour, or b) could be a sign of an ongoing issue. What happened with my son was this:
Excessive online - and offline gaming: a hobby .... "yes", but also a way of blocking out the world and being obsessed by a special interest. A way of not dealing with anything, and becoming completely a part of the game/online world. Getting lost in it at the expense of everything else.
Untidy, total lack or organisation: "typical teenager"? ... maybe - but could also be a lack of excecutive function, not being able to keep thoughts together, not able to plan ahead - could be an ADHD, Autism trait ... Ah HA AA...
Not listening and forgetting: as above right - "typical teenager"? - answer could be also - as above ...excecutive function/memory processing/attention span. Do you find yourself incesantly repeating yourself to your teenager? Have you told them something 100 times and they still forget? Yep. Again - 'typical teenager'. My son was the typical teenager, but he also was dealing with undiagnosed developmental conditions. So how do you tell between what is typical and atypical ? Even if you ask questions, chances are they won't answer you, or will just give some kind of smug answer. Parents need 'Sherlock Holmes" type qualities.
These are just a few examples. Thinking back, I guess you need to create very open communication from when they are young. Make it a habit to sit and have a talk about things. That way, when they do get older, they are already used to talking. As life goes along and is busy, parents are busy, working, stressed, tired. All these well meaning ideas go by the wayside. Parents have their own stuff to deal with too.
So, that will be all for today. Take care - till next time ..
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